When our days are a little grey, the threads team treats itself to going into the back-end of the site and looking at the list of Google searches that have led some of our readers here. It’s thrilling, confusing and kiiiiiiiinda weird.

Today, we’re exploring a popular search term that somehow leads people to us: should I ask her out?

I only really need one word to answer this – yes – but I’ve never let that stop me before, so I’ll go on for another 500 to drive my point home.

If you are asking Google the question, then that’s proof enough that you want to ask said woman out, so there must be something else that’s stopping you, dear reader. I hope I can help with that.

Maybe the problem is that you’re afraid she’ll say no? Well, as we learnt from Sam’s dad in A Cinderella Story – the one with Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray – “never let the fear of striking out stop you from playing the game”. FYI, “game” refers here to baseball, and is not an encouragement to be any other kind of player. Babe Ruth (what a name) said it first apparently, but those words on the wall of Hal’s Diner should stick with you as you consider asking The Question. If she does say no, it will hurt and it will also be awkward if you have to spend time together in the future. But, as Johnny Cash and maybe King Solomon said, these things will pass.

Or perhaps you’ve never really spoken to her before, and so worry it will come somewhat out of the blue? That didn’t stop this kid, who asked Emma Stone to his school prom. I think most women wouldn’t be totally OK with a near-stranger making a full-length music video in a bid to go for a drink together, but the real take away lesson here is GO FOR IT. A text, Facebook message or quick chat next time you see her might go down better than changing the words to Another Day of Sun, though.

Maybe you’re someone with a crazy misunderstanding of just how great you are, and are thinking that maybe she’s too good for you? You are a catch! Say hello. Start a conversation. Show that you’re a nice person and then ask her if she’d like to go for a coffee sometime. Be this bunny.

Or is the thing holding you back the fact that she’s got a boyfriend/husband? In which case, please forget everything I’ve said up until now. Do not go for it. Do not be brave. Just sit this one out.

I’m glad we’ve cleared all that up. Now I’ve convinced you that yes, you should definitely ask that (single) woman out, let’s get to the nitty-gritty of how. Apparently people feel more confident asking for a pay rise than asking someone out. This is bad news for singletons in the Church. The key tips to remember are:

  • Don’t do small talk. Don’t ask where she’s from or what she do. Boring. Ask her something else – anything else. Ask for advice: “Where’s good to eat around here?” or make a stand – preferably one that compliments: “I think that is the best jacket I’ve seen!”
  • Find the common interest you share, get excited about sharing that interest, then ask the person to join you in an activity that involves that interest, if possible.
  • Take it offline as soon as possible, if all of the above was via your phone. While I hate those people that go straight to a phone call, do arrange to meet up sooner rather than later.

Also, it’s important to add that as it’s 2017, women should be taking the lead if they so choose. However, according to our analytics, no women have stumbled onto our site hoping for helpful hints and tips of how to do so, so maybe all you sassy singles are already out there, taking control. To you, I salute you. To everyone else: be brave, be patient and don’t let the fear of rejection stop you from asking the question. Because yes, you should ask her out.

Written by Amaris Cole // Follow Amaris on  Twitter

Amaris has always wanted to be a journalist. Well, apart from the few years she spent longing to be a spy (she even took a GCSE in Russian as all good spies speak the language, or so her teacher said). She is now Editor of the Evangelical Alliance, but is sure Mi5 will come knocking soon. Amaris enjoys going to the gym far too much but is able to resist the biscuit tin far too little. Her most embarrassing moment was saying: “No probs” to Prince Charles.

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